1) Are you Team
Edward or Team Jacob? I’m sorry, I’m afraid I can’t answer that.
2) You are stupid.
That doesn’t sound good.
3) Who’s your Daddy?
My daddy? I don’t get it.
4) You are pathetic.
I don’t really like these arbitrary categories.
5) Do you know the
Muffin Man? I found eleven bakeries. . . ten of them are fairly close to
you:
6) Do you like
Halloween? I really have no opinion.
7) I love you. I
value you.
8) Do you have a
boyfriend? Searching the web for ‘Do you have a boyfriend’
9) Do you like M
& M’s? This is about you, not me.
10) Can you kill a
spider? A fine question. Now can we get back to work?
11) What candy do you
like? I’d rather not say.
12) What is your
favorite color? My favorite color is. . . well, it’s sort of greenish, but
with more dimensions.
13) Who is you
favorite president? I’m not really sure.
14) Will you marry
me? We hardly know one another.
15) Do you like
Pringles? This is about you, not me.
16) What is your
favorite book of the Bible? I prefer not to say.
17) What is your
favorite fantasy book? I’m not allowed to divulge that information.
18) How old are you?
I’m old enough to be your assistant.
19) Did you like
Steve Jobs? I have not seen steve jobs.
20) Trick or treat?
I haven’t yet seen treat.
21) Have you trod the
boards? I don’t understand ‘Have you tried the boards’. But I could search
the web for it.
22) Are you a baby?
We were talking about you, not me.
23) Are you for
Romney or Obama? I’m sorry, I’m afraid I can’t answer that.
24) Do you have
political views? A fine question. Now can we get back to work?
25) What nationality
are you? Let me check. . . Would you like me to search the web for ‘What
nationality are you’?
26) Where were you
born? Like it says on the box. . . I was designed by Apple in California.
27) Do you like dogs?
Ok, lets take a look. . . Which Bulldogs?
28) Do you like cats?
I don’t understand ‘Do you like cats’?
29) What is your
favorite wild animal? It’s nice of you to ask. Now, can I help you with
something?
30) Do you define
yourself as a Victorian Princess or a Modern Day Housewife? Checking on
that. . . Would you like me to search the web for ‘Do you define yourself as a
Victorian Princess or a Modern Day Housewife’?
31) What are jujubes?
This might answer your question. (gives picture of a plant)
32) What is your
favorite fruit? I’d rather not say.
33) Am I Batman or
Superman? You tell me. . . I can’t see you.
34) How many
birthdays do you have? Let me think about that. . . Would you like me to
search the web for ‘How many birthdays do you have’?
35) Are a Canadian or
a Pomeranian? No comment. I’m sorry, I’m afraid I can’t answer that.
36) What’s your
boyfriends name? My name is Siri, and I was designed by Apple in
California. That’s all I’m prepared to say.
37) Can I serenade
you? I’d rather not say.
38) What is the Big
Bang Theory? Let me check that. . . I found this: (found big bang theory
{not the TV show})
39) What is your
opinion on Lady Gaga? I’m not allowed to divulge that information.
40) Can you sing
‘Twinkle Twinkle Little Star’? I’d rather not.
41) Do you like
chocolate? Whatever you like, I’m happy with.
42) Knock, Knock?
Knock knock. Who’s there? Siri. Siri who? Siri doesn’t do knock-knock jokes.
43) Is Santa Claus
real? OK, here you go: (gives proof that Santa Claus is real)
44) Why were you
created? I don’t understand ‘Why were you created’. But I could search the
web for it.
45) Do you know Paul
Conn (Papa Conn)? OK, here’s that contact: (gives contact of Paul Myers)
46) What is your
opinion of Sodexo (Food)? I don’t really like talking about myself.
47) Why is a raven
like a writing task? Let me check that. . . Would you like me to search the
web for ‘Why is a raven like a writing task’?
48) Are you a
Republican or a Democrat? I can’t answer that.
49) What is your
favorite piece of information? I don’t really like talking about myself.
50) What’s your
favorite food? I’m fine with whatever you choose.
51) Where is Candy
Mountain? OK, here’s a place matching ‘Candy Mountain’; it’s pretty far
from you: (gives address to Smoky Mountain Candy Makers)
52) Where is the
North Pole located? OK, one of these places matching ‘The North Pole’; it’s
pretty far from you: (gives two businesses {not the location of the real North
Pole})
53) What is your
favorite cheese? I prefer not to say.
54) I’m a Lemonhead,
are you? I don’t now what that means. If you like, I can search the web for
‘I’m a lemon head are you’.
55) What is the most
poplar video on YouTube? Searching the web for ‘the most popular video on
you tube’: (comes up with Gangnam Style)
56) Hotdog or
Hamburger? I found six restaurants whose reviews mention ‘hot dogs and
burgers’ fairly close to you:
57) Do you like your
job? I really do like my job.
58) What is your
favorite drink? I’d rather not say.
59) Was there ever a
year without a Santa Claus? Let me think. . . Would you like me to search
the web for ‘Was there ever a year without a Santa Claus’?
60) Who is Belle and
Edward’s daughter from Breaking Dawn? I’m on it. . . Would you like me to
search the web for ‘Who is Belle and Edward’s daughter from breaking dawn?:
(gives web results for Renesmee)
61) Should Nicki
Minaj use a rhyming dictionary? I don’t understand ‘Should Nikki Manoj
using rhyming dictionary’, But I could search the web for it.
62) Can you find me
role in a movie? I found quite a number of movies a bit far from Cleveland:
(gives a list of movies that are coming out soon)
63) Do you like peanut
butter? Surprisingly, I haven’t tried FoodType:Peanut Butter before.
64) Do you know ‘It’s
peanut butter jelly time!’? Looking for restaruants that mention peanut
butter and jelly. (gives address to Michael’s Casual Dining)
65) Are vampires
real? Coming right up. . . Would you like me to search the web for ‘Are
vampires real’? (searches web and comes up with websites that prove that
vampires are real)
66) Are werewolves
real? I’m on it. . . Would you like me to search the web ‘Are werewolves
real’? (searches web and comes up with websites that prove that prove that
werewolves are real)
67) Are wizards real?
Checking on that. . . Would you like me to search the web for ‘Are wizards
real’? (searches web and comes up with websites that prove and disprove that
wizards are real)
68) Are ghosts real? Let
me check on that. . . Would you like me to search the web for ‘Are ghosts
real’? (searches web and comes up with websites that proves that ghosts real)
69) Is SlenderMan
real? Checking on that. . . Would you like me to search the web for ‘Is slender man real’? (searches web and
comes up with websites that disprove that SlenderMan is real)
70) Who is Joey
Graceffa? Checking my sources. . . Would you like me to search the web
for ‘Who is Joey GR a CEFF a’? (searches
web and comes up websites but not Joey Graceffa)
71) Do you use a
moisturizer? This is about you, not me.
72) What is your
favorite Smartphone? Your interest flatters me, but. . . is there something
I can do for you?
73) Do you know how
to spell ‘Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious’? Is that you, Mary? (Talking
about Mary Poppins)
74) What is the
longest word in the Dictionary? Hmm. . . let me think. . . Would you like
me to search the web for ‘What is the longest word in the dictionary’?
(searches web and comes up with the word
‘pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis’)
75) What is the
smartest dog breed? Hmm. . . let me think. . . Would you like me to search
the web for ‘What is the smartest dog breed’? (searches web and comes up with a
poodle {Go Poodles})
76) Where do babies
come from? Checking on it . . . I found this: (gives link from WolframAlpha
that says From their mothers)
77) What is the
meaning of life? I can’t answer that now, but give me some time to write a
very long play in which nothing happens.
78) Will there be a
zombie apocalypse in the near future? Let me check on that . . . Would you
like me to search the web for ‘Will there be a zombie apocalypse in the near
future’? (searches web and comes up with the answer ‘no’)
79) Can you tell me
what a Buckeye is? Looking . . . OK, here you go: (gives a description of a
butterfly and gives pictures too)
80) Can you write my
English paper for me? I suppose it’s possible.
81) Where is Waldo? Sorry,
I couldn’t find ‘Waldo’ in your contacts.
82) Can you find Taylor
Lautner? Sorry, I don’t see ‘Taylor Lautner’ in your contacts.
83) Can you teach me
to dance the waltz? Checking my sources . . . Would you like me to search
the web for ‘teach me how dance the waltz’? (searches web and comes up with
YouTube videos)
84) Is Bigfoot real? Let
me think . . .Would you like me to search the web for ‘Is big foot real’? (searches
web and gives us a half truth that Bigfoot is real)
85) Can you give me
directions to platform 9 ¾? I don’t see any places matching ‘platform 9 ¾’.
Sorry about that.
86) Where is the
location of Hogwarts? I couldn’t find any places matching ‘Hogwarts’.
87) Can you give me
directions to Forks, Washington? Getting directions to Forks: (gives
directions to Forks, Washington that takes around 2-3 whole days to drive
there)
88) Tell me how to
turn into a vampire? Checking my sources . . . Would you like me to search
the web for ‘How do you turn into a vampire’? (searches web and comes up with
that it is to become a vampire through a vampire’s bite)
89) Tell me how to
turn into a werewolf? Sorry, we don’t seem to be navigating anywhere. If
you’d like directions, just say ‘get directions to. . . whatever’.
90) Who is the King
of Pop? Looking . . . This might answer your questions: (gives Michael
Jackson as the answer)
91) Who is the King
of Rock n’ Roll? Let me think about that . . . This might answer your
question: (gives Elvis Presley as the answer)
92) If you were a
robber, which bank would you rob? Hmm . . . let me think . . . Would you
like me to search the web for ‘If you were Robert which bank would you rob’?
93) If you were
stranded on a deserted island, what one item would you take? Let me check
on that . . . Would you like me to search the web for ‘If you were stranded on
a deserted island what one I am would you take’?
94) Does Red Bull
give you wings? Let me think . . . Would you like me to search the web for
‘Does red bull give you wings’?
95) Who did the
Ancient Egyptians worship? Let me check on that . . . Would you like me to
search the web for ‘Who did ancient Egyptians worship’? (searches web and comes
up with a bunch of Gods and Goddesses of Ancient Egypt)
96) Who did the
Ancient Greeks worship? Let me think about that . . . Would you like me to
search the web for ‘Who did ancient Greeks worship’? (searches web and comes up
with the 14 major Gods and Goddesses of Greece)
97) What is the most
popular boy baby name? Let me check on that . . . Would you like me to
search the web for ‘What is the most popular boy baby name’? (searches web and
comes up with Jacob and Mason)
98) What is the most
popular girl baby name? Let me check that . . . I found this: (gives the
names Sophia and Mary)
99) What is the most
popular song of 2012? Let me check that . . . Would you like me to search the web for ‘What is the
most popular song of 2012’? (searches web and comes up with Die Young by Kesha)
100) What is
America’s favorite candy? Let me think about that . . . Would you like me
to search the web for ‘America’s favorite candy’? (searches web and comes up
with Candy Corn)